Sunday, December 27, 2009

Whited

On this site, I propose to do no less than retranslate the lyrics of several newfangled "hipping hopping" "rappers" into a version of the English language even the common-man may understand! These rap lyrics, so often obfuscated with bizarre slang and rambunctious wordplay, only serve to distress the average listener into a fugue of confusion and horror. I know that I frequently find myself upsought and at wit's end, saying to a nearest compatriot: "What what? These words sound so much like the mealy-mouthed mumblings of a teen-aged boy!"

Having grown weary from being unable to enjoy or sing along with any of the commonest radio hits of the era, I sought out to clarify many of the current decades' most popular songs, so that others may find their fancy in them as well, and for heaven's sake understand what's happening within a given song. Though appalled by my findings, I present them here, the songs being thoroughly decoded and deciphered like mystic runes! No rapper shall bestall me with thrice-occluded heiroglyphs!

So, dear reader, if you've too been fooled so many times before, as I have, please enjoy my Internet "Website" log and the deciphered songs within it.

Yours,
Chadwick Ruddiger Quiddington