Sunday, February 14, 2010

Soulja Boy "Crank That" Intro and Chorus

Intro:
(Yoooouuuu!)
Soulja Boy, tell ’em
Hey, I got a new dance for y’all called the Soulja Boy
(Yoooouuuu!)
You gotta punch, then crank back three times from left to right

WHITED:
(Yoooouuuu!)
To all comers: I am Soldiering Lad, and I am ready to educate you
I have a new dance for all gathered; it’s named in my honor
(Yoooouuuu!)
First of all, you must imitate a boxer, as if engaged in pugilism,
Followed by three springs from the left to the right

Chorus:
Soulja Boy up in this ho!
Watch me crank it, watch me roll!
Watch me crank that Soulja Boy
Then Superman that ho!
Now watch me—you crank that Soulja Boy!
Now watch me—you crank that Soulja Boy!
Now watch me—you crank that Soulja Boy!
Now watch me—you crank that Soulja Boy!


(Note: This song contains a clever double entendre throughout—the song refers simultaneously to vigorous dancing and a series of sexual acts! I shall present both meanings alongside one another to compare and contrast.)

Meaning the first (henceforth “a”):
I am going berserk in this neighborhood!
As such, watch me bounce and spring about!
Watch me prance to my titular dance!
And then extend my arms in imitation of DC Comics superhero Superman!
As you watch me carrying on in this silly manner,
Mimic my actions likewise with your own body!

Meaning the second (henceforth “b”):
Soldiering Lad (myself) has penetrated this lady’s vagina!
Observe my coital prowess!
Watch me masturbate to ejaculation onto this lady’s back!
So that when she rolls over, the sheets will cling to the ejaculate
Much in the manner of Superman’s cape!
Mimic my actions likewise with your body!

Soulja Boy "Crank That" Verse 1

Soulja Boy up in this ho, watch me lean and watch me rock

Superman that ho, then watch me crank that Robocop
Superfresh, now watch me jock, jockin’ on them haters, man
When I do that Soulja Boy, I lean to the left and crank that thang

a.

I, Soldiering Lad, am in the neighborhood. Watch me lean my body and jostle it jauntily.

I playact as if I’m Superman, and then Paul Verhoeven’s cinematic cyborg Robocop.

I am dressed in the most fashionable and expensive clothing items.

Watch me harass my antagonists by pretending to adore and mimic them.

When I do my titular dance, I lean to the left and move about, generally.


b.

I, Soldiering Lad, am again in this doxy’s vagina.

Please gaze upon me as I lean and thrust.

I ejaculate on the woman’s back, then ejaculate again into a bucket, which I place on her head.

I am freshly bathed. Focus again as I intercourse this woman

[lyric defies reasonable translation]

When I intercourse in the manner of a soldiering lad,

I lean to the left while penetrating and thrust authoritatively

Now you! I’m jockin’ on yo’ bitch ass

And if we get to fightin’, then I’m cockin’ on yo’ bitch ass

You catch me at yo’ local party—yes, I crank it every day
Haters gettin’ mad ’cause I got me some Bathing Apes

a.

Now you, merry fop! I’m drawing extra attention to your tawdry character

(So that others may also see what a low specimen you are).

And if you choose to engage in fisticuffs with me, due to my instigation,

I shall aim my gun at your unappealing hind end.

I certainly will attend your local box social—why yes! I do in fact dance every day!

My enemies are quick to anger because I wear A Bathing Ape-brand tennis shoes.


b.

Now you, ma’am! I continue to have sex with you, possibly in your fundament.

And if we begin fighting, then I will still intercourse you, battle or no.

I shall attend your local box social—why yes, I do intercourse daily!

Other suitors bridle because my footwear is more fashionable than theirs!

Soulja Boy "Crank That" Verse 2

I’m bouncin’ on my toe, watch me supersoak that ho
I’m-a pass it to Arab, and he gon’ pass it to Don’Loc


b only.

The effort of continuous thrusting has me on the balls of my feet.

Now pay attention as I ejaculate on that prostitute’s very countenance.

When I finish, I shall allow my emcee-colleague Arab,

To ejaculate upon this fallen woman's face as well, before directing the disoriented strumpet

To our mutual friend Don’Loc, who will ejaculate in similar fashion yet again.

Haterz wanna be me. Soulja Boy, I’m the man
They be lookin’ at my neck, sayin’ it’s the Rubberband Man
Watch me do it, watch me do it. Dance, dance.
Let get to it, let get to it

a only.

Those who despise me only do so because they envy me.

Soldiering Lad, I am the greatest of males!

They gaze upon my neck, and the jewelry thereupon

Noticing the spoils of my successful narcotics bartering

Watch as I impress you—watch as I impress you! I dance, I dance.

Let us dance, let us dance!


Nope! You can’t do it like me, ho! So don’t do it like me, folk!
I see you try’n-a do it like me. Man, that shit was ugly

a only.

No, you ladylike manchild! You cannot dance with the grace and skill I possess,

So do not attempt to do so—all of you!

I witnessed your attempt to dance as I did.

Ha ha! That balderdash was repulsive!

Monday, February 8, 2010

T.I. "What You Know"

T.I. “What You Know” Chorus

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
What you know about that? [3x]
Hey, don’t you know I got a key by the three
When I chirp, shorty chirp back
Louis knapsack, where I’m holdin’ all the work at
What you know about that? What you know about that?
What you know about that?
Hey, I know all about that
Loaded .44 on the low where the cheese at
Fresh out the jet to the ’jects where the Gs at
What you know about that? What you know about that?
Hey, what you know about that?
Hey, I know all about that

WHITED:
Hello! Excuse me! Sir! Pardon your blessing!
What do you know about that (of which I speak)? [thrice]
Do you fail to realize that I have in my possession three kilograms of narcotics?
When I speak through my cellular phone’s walkie talkie function to my lady,
My lady responds in kind!
I own a Louis Vuitton-brand knapsack, which contains said narcotics
And what, pray tell, do you know about that? What do you know about that?
Again: What do you know about that?
Because, if I may interject, I know everything there is to know regarding the subject.
I keep a fully-loaded .44 Remington Magnum firearm hidden with my currency.
I recently deplaned and drove to the low-income government public housing
Where all the gangsters reside
What do you know about that? What do you know about that?
Sir, I repeat: What do you know about that?
Because, again, I know all about that.

T.I. “What You Know” Verse 1

See me in your city, sittin’ pretty, know I’m shinin’, dog
Ridin’ wid a couple Latin broads and a China doll,
And you know how we ball, ridin’ in shiny car
Walk in designer mall, buy everything he saw
You know about me, dog; ’on’t talk about me, dog
And if you doubt me, dog, you’d better out me, dog

WHITED

Gaze upon me looking dapper as I enter your municipality

And know that I am indeed doing as well as I appear to be, canine

Cause be that I am riding alongside two Latin-American fastfannies

As well as an adorable Oriental bawd

And certainly you’re aware of how I and my colleagues express our decadence

Driving in automobiles polished exquisitely,

We stride into high-end consumer boutiques,

And he (myself in the third person, naturally) purchased everything he witnessed

You’re aware of my reputation, cur; therefore I beseech you not to discuss me, cur

And should you find cause to doubt my statements, cur

Then you would be wise to vacate my immediate presence, cur!

I’m throwed off slightly, bro; don’t wanna fight me, bro
I’m fast as lightning, bro; you better use your Nikes, bro
Know you don’t like me ’cause your bitch most likely does
She see me on them dubs in front of every club
I be on dro, I’m buzzed. Gave every ho a hug
Niggaz, don
’t show me mugs, ’cause you don’t know me, cuz


I must admit I’m slightly inebriated, brother, but I strongly urge you not to tussle with me

I am fast as one of Zeus’ heaven-borne bolts!

You’d be wise to don a pair of athletic training sneakers and flee!

I understand that you do not care for me because your lady is quite certainly attracted to me

She saw me in my automobile with modified twenty-inch wheels

Parked outside of every nightclub

As of now, I’m intoxicated through hydroponically-grown marijuana usage

Causing me to embrace every prostitute within range

African-American males, please keep your grimaces to yourself

You simply are not aware of the scope of my personality, false friend!

T.I. “What You Know” Verse 2

Candy on the ’64, leather guts and fish bowl
50 on the pinky ring just to make my fist glow
Your bitches get low because I get dough
So what? I’m rich, ho. I still’ll pull a kick-do’
What you talking shit fo’? Aint gotta run and get folk
Got you a-yellin, I thought you’d pull out a gun and hit folk

Look upon the resplendent coloring of my classic 1964 Chevrolet Impala automobile
Whose interior is leathered and fogged with a haze of marijuana smoke.
Upon the ring of my smallest finger sits a 50-carat diamond
Put there merely to attract the attention of any who should see me.
Your strumpets dance lewdly because I am affluent,
But who does it concern? I remain affluent, harlot.
And I will kick the door of your automobile inward!
Why on earth do you continue to spread untruths?
You need not run to your kin for protection
—In the panic of your retreat, I imagined you’d accidentally shoot one of them!

But you’s a scary dude, believed by very few
Just keep it very cool or we will bury you
See, all that attitude’s unnecessary, dude
’Cause you never carry tools; not even square, he cubed
You got these people fooled, who see you on the tube
Whatever. Try the crew: they’ll see you on the news

However, to humor you, yes, you are a frightening fellow (who few believe the stories of!)
Please, refrain from harassing my friends and I or we shall assassinate you
For you see, all of your bravado is unnecessary, fancy Dan
You are never even armed!
Far from being a mere dullard, you are some new species of ultra-dolt!
You have done the disservice of deceiving those who have seen you on the television
It matters not! Act indecorously among my cohorts and the same innocents
You earlier deceived will then witness your televised obituary!

T.I. “What You Know” Verse 3

Fresh off the jet to the block, burnin rubber with the top popped
My partner busting shots; I tell
him stop, it make the block hot
Your label got got
cause you are not hot
I got the top spot and it will not stop
Hey, video or not, dog, we bust it till the glock stop
Drag ya out that Bentley coupe and take it to the chop shop

WHITED:

Recently disembarked from the airplane and onward to the inner city,

I’m driving in excess of the speed limit with my convertible roof down.

My associates are discharging their firearms;

I appeal them to cease so as not to be brought under scrutiny for our illegal actions.

Your record label was defrauded because you are an unskilled emcee

While I am acclaimed as greatest among emcees—and that shan’t change!

Whether we’re being video-recorded or not, cur,

We will fire upon you until our striker-fired polymer-framed Austrian pistols are spent!

I will physically remove you from your Bentley-brand coupé

And then take it to the illegal car-disassembling facility

Partner, we not y’all, if it may pop off
I'll answer the question “Will I get ya block knocked off?” (Yeah)
This what it is, bro: look, I will kill bro
I’m in your hood; if you a gangsta, what you hid for?
Somebody better get bro
fore he get sent for
You say you wanna squash it—what you still talkin’ shit for?


Friend, I shan’t be on your side if conflict arises.

Allow me to answer my own question: “Shall I decapitate you?” (Yes)

Here is the situation at hand, brother: I shall murder a brother, i.e. you

I am in your neighborhood; if you are truly a ruffian, why have you hidden yourself?

It’d be wise for someone to find Brother before I request his presence

You claimed to want to resolve our rivalry—

Why, then, do you continue to speak ill of me?