Li’l Kim with Sisqo “How Many Licks”

“How Many Licks” Verse I

I’ve been a lot of places, seen a lot of faces
Ah hell, I even fuck with different races
A white dude, his name was John
He had a “Queen Bee Rules” tattoo on his arm

He asked me if I’d be his date for the prom
And he’d buy me a horse, a Porsche, and a farm

I have traveled to many lands, where I have seen numerous countenances.

Oh, Hades, I have even resorted to copulating with different races.

For example!

There was a Caucasian male, who went by the name of “Jonathan.”

He had a “Queen Bee Rules” tattoo on his arm

—Which I duly appreciated, being the Queen Bee in question!

He asked me whether I would like to be his steady

For his high school’s formal promenade.

He claimed he would buy me a horse,

A Porsche Automobil Holding SE–brand automobile, and a farm.

Dan my nigga, from Down South
Used to like me to spank him and come in his mouth
And Tony, he was Italian (uh-huh)
And he didn’t give a fuck
That’s what I liked about him (uh-huh)
He ate my pussy from dark till the mornin
Called his girl up and told her we was bonin

And then there was Daniel,

My African-American male friend from the Southeastern United States.

He liked me to give him a bottom slapping, then ejaculate into his mouth.

And how could I forget Antonio? He was Italian (of course).

He did not care one iota about anything,

Which is precisely what I enjoyed most about him (of course).

He gave me cunnilingus from dusk till dawn.

He would even telephone his sweetheart to let her know we were intercoursing.

Puerto Rican papi, used to be a deacon
But now he be sucking me off on the weekend
And this black dude I called King Hung
He had a big-ass dick and a hurricane tongue

After Antonio was an anonymous Puerto Rican father, who was once a deacon.

But now he had given up the clergy to be able to suckle my vagina on weekends.

Finally, there was this African-American male I named “King Hung.”

He had an oversized phallus and a very nimble tongue.

“How Many Licks” Chorus (Sisqo)

So how many licks does it take till you get to the center of the…?

(’Cause I’ve got to know)
How many licks does it take till you get to the center of the…?
(Tell me)
How many licks does it take till you get to the center of the…?
(Oh, oh)
How many licks does it take till you get to the center of the…?
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

So then, what is the quantity of licks needed to get to the center of the [nothing]?

(Because I have to know!)

Precisely how many of these licks are required to gain the center of the [nothing]?

(Tell me now!)

I repeat, how many licks are required to get to the center of the [nothing]?

(Oh! Oh!)

Again I ask, how many licks must one lick 
Before getting to the center of the [nothing]?

(Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!)

“How Many Licks” Verse II

This verse goes out to my niggas in jail
Beatin they dicks to the XXL, magazine
You like how I look in the aqua green? Get your Vaseline
Roll some weed with some tissue and close your eyes
Then imagine your tongue in between my thighs
[moan] Baby, ohh…yes ohh!
Jailer, open up, cell block eight

[moaning]

This second verse is dedicated to my imprisoned African-American males,

Who are masturbating to Harris Publications’ XXL hip-hop magazine cover image

Of myself nude in a bubbly bath with aqua-green–colored hair.

Do you enjoy that image, you criminals?

If so, masturbate with the assistance of Unilever’s Vaseline-brand petroleum jelly.

Use the tissue paper found in your jailcell to roll a marijuana cigarette,

Then close your eyes and imagine your tongue in between my thighs 
(Upon my labia).

[moan] Babe, ohh! Yes! Ohh!

Jailer, please open up cell block eight!

[satisfactory sounds]

Alright, nigga, that’s enough
Stop, look and listen; get back to your position
Kim got your dick hard, startin fights in the yard
Hotter than a Pop-Tart fresh out of the toaster
Niggas do anything for a Lil’ Kim poster
Esés, Bloods, Crips, all the thugs
Up north in the hole, they all wanna know

All right, African-American male, that will be quite enough!

Stop, look, and listen; get back into your position.

Little Kim—myself—has made your penis erect

To the point that you are starting skirmishes in the jailyard.

I am hotter than a Kellogg Company Pop-Tarts–brand toaster pastry

Freshly emerging from a toaster oven.

African-American males will do anything just to obtain a Little Kim poster.

Latin Sureño gangsters, as well as rival Bloods and Crips gangsters,

And to those up north in solitary confinement

—All of these bejailed men wish to know…

“How Many Licks” Verse III

If you drivin in the street, hold on to your seat
Niggas, grab your meat while I ride the beat
And if you see a shiny black Lamborghini fly by ya
(Shoom!) That’s me, the Knight Rider

If you happen to be driving in the street, hold on to your seat for security.

African-American males, take hold of your penis while I rap this verse.

And if you perchance see a shiny black

Italian Automobili Lamborghini S.p.A.–brand automobile hasten by you.

—Shoom!—that will be me, the very rider of the night,

Much like David Hasselhoff’s character in the eponymous 1980s television series!

Dressed in all black with the gat in the lap

Lunatics in the street–gotta keep the heat
Sixty on the bezel, a hundred on the rings
Sittin pretty, baby, with a Cash Money bling

I’ll be dressed in all-black clothing, with a handgun in my lap.

There are very lunatics in the streets, so I must protect myself with firearms.

I have sixty-carat diamonds in the gemstone bands of my rings

As well as hundred-carat diamonds in the rings themselves.

Yes, you could say that I am sitting pretty, babe,

With a Cash Money Records–style bling.

12 a.m. I’m on the way to club
After three bottles I’ll be ready to fuck
Some niggas even put me on their grocery lists
Right next to the whip cream and box of chocolates

At midnight I set off for the nightclub.

After three bottles of liquor of any variety I shall be ready to copulate.

Some African-American males will even put me on their grocery lists!

Right next to the whipped cream and box of chocolates.

Designer pussy, my shit come in flavors
High-class taste, niggas got to spend paper
Lick it right the first time or you gotta do it over
Like it’s rehearsal for a Tootsie commercial

My vagina is so luxurious as to be designer-quality; it has multiple flavors.

But it is an expensive dish!

African-American males must spend money to learn of its delights.

You must lick it correctly the first time or you must try again,

As if it’s a dress rehearsal for a Tootsie Roll–brand-confection commercial.