Sunday, January 31, 2010

"Baby Got Back" Whited Verse 2

I like ’em round and big
And when I’m throwin’ a gig
I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like a animal
Now here’s my scandal:
I wanna get you home
And ugh! Double up! Ugh! Ugh!
I ain’t talkin’ bout Playboy
‘Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I prefer my posteriors round and abundant
And when I am performing for an audience
I cannot refrain from devolving into the behavior of a lesser beast
Allow me to present my conundrum:
I would foremost enjoy the pleasure of your company at my manor
Furthermore, ugh! Increase that offer twofold! Ugh! Ugh!
I am not referring to the women commonly gracing the pages of men’s interest periodical Playboy
Because silicone parts should remain outside of the body

I want ‘em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot’s in trouble
Beggin’ for a piece of that bubble
So I’m lookin’ at rock videos
Knock-kneed bimbos walkin’ like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I’ll keep my women like Flo Jo

I prefer rears ample and succulent
Therefore, identify that succulent twosome
Mix-a-Lot—and here I refer to myself in the third person—is in trouble
Beseeching you for a morsel of those convex haunches
Follow with me: I was recently watching rock-and-roll music videos
Viewing knock-kneed hussies in the manner of trollops
But you may take your hussies!
I shall conserve my ladies, who resemble African-American track and field athlete Florence Griffith-Joyner

A word to the thick soul sistas: I wanna get with ya
I won’t cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna (fuck)
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin’ on
A lot of simps won’t like this song
‘Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I’d rather stay and play

A word to the fleshy African-American females within hearing:
I would enjoy having intercourse with you
And I shan’t shout an oath or strike your person
But I must tell you plainly that I would enjoy a thorough (rutting)
Until the following sunrise
Lady, you are sexually appealing
Many false Lotharios shan’t care for this song
Merely because those scoundrels enjoy having intercourse and fleeing the bedchamber
But I, I would rather remain and continue having intercourse

’Cause I’m long, and I’m strong
And I’m down to get the friction on
So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (Yeah!)
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Because I am endowed genitally, and rut with great force
And I very much enjoy the act of rutting as well
Pardon me, there, madams! (Yes!) Madams! (Yes!)
If you wish to ride alongside me in my Mercedes Benz automobile (Yes!)
Then please rotate your body and bend at the knees!
Even Caucasian men are required to shout
“Baby” has a wondrous derrière

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby. When it comes to females, Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection
36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she’s 5’3”.

“Baby” has a comely end!
When concerning females, the periodical Cosmopolitan does not factor at all into my decision making
You hold that the most preferable chest-waist-hip measurements are 36
-24-36? Ha ha!
I contest: only if the female with said measurements is five feet, three inches in height!

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