Sunday, January 31, 2010

"Baby Got Back" Whited Verse 3

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin’ workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups
But please don’t lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain’t gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it

Let us consider: Your mistress listens to exercise cassettes by fitness instructor Jane Fonda
While driving her Honda-brand automobile
However, Ms. Fonda is lacking in the posterior, and the usage thereof
My snakelike penis is uninterested unless you are owner to a shapely backside, my dear
You may exercise by stretching to the side or sitting up
But I beseech you not to lose your gluteal fat
Some African-American men choose to be contrary
And aver that the posterior is not the greatest among the feminine anatomy
Accordingly, they dispose of it and depart
And I sweep in to take hold of their leavings!

So Cosmo says you’re fat
Well I ain’t down with that!
’Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin’
And I’m thinkin’ bout stickin’ to the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain’t it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista; I can’t resist her
Red beans and rice didn’t miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
’Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit ’em
And I pull up quick to get wit ’em

Thus, the aforementioned periodical Cosmopolitan maintains that you are overweight
Let me say, however, that I will not stand for such an insult!
Because your waist is small and your body’s shape is extraordinary to behold
And I am considering addressing the emaciated women in these periodicals:
You are unappealing, Object Lady!
I prefer an African-American woman who I cannot resist
Who has been fed well throughout her childhood
An anonymous nincompoop attempted to affront me
Because the women he enjoys I share an interest in
He spoke charmingly, but ultimately chose to remain celibate
And I again swept in to attend to his leavings

So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple-X throw-down,
Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

Finally, women, if your posterior is podgy
And you would like to have intercourse in mimicry of pornographic actors
Please call the telephone number 1-900-MIX-A-LOT
And express your libidinous desires
“Baby” has a lovely fundament!

Little in the middle but she got much back

Her waist remains pinched in appearance; however, her hindquarters tell a different tale

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