Tuesday, September 21, 2010

“Gold Digger” Verse I

Cutie the bomb, met her at a beauty salon
With a baby Louis Vuitton under her underarm
She said, “I can tell you rock/Roc, I can tell by your charm,
Far as girls, you got a flock, I can tell by your charm on your arm.”

My popsy is the greatest. I made her acquaintance at a beauty salon.
She was carrying a French fashion house Louis Vuitton Malletier–brand 
Baby satchel under her arm.
She said to me, “It’s self-evident that you are remarkable
(And that you represent Roc-A-Fella Records label!).
I came to such a conclusion by dint of your obvious charm.
As far as lasses go, you must have a veritable flock of them!
I surmised all this from your expensive wristwatch on your arm.”
But I’m looking for the one—have you seen her?
My psychic told me she’ll have a ass like Serena
Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids
And I gotta take all they bad ass to showbiz?
But far from being some wayward Lothario, I’m searching for my soul’s mate.
Perhaps you have witnessed her?
My medium told me that when I meet her, she will have a derrière
Much like that of African-American professional tennis player 
Serena Jameka Williams,
Self-proclaimed “baddest bitch” female emcee Katrina Laverne “Trina” Taylor,
Or actress, musician, and Latina icon Jennifer Lynn Lopez.
My medium told me my best lady will have already birthed four children,
And now I ponder: Do I have to use my substantial monies 
To pay for these chickabiddies?
Okay, get your kids, but then they got their friends
I pulled up in the Benz, they all got up in
We all went to Den and then I had to pay
If you fucking with this girl then you better be paid
Fair enough: Your children are acceptable—
But then the children’s friends appeared!
I pulled up in my German-made Mercedes-Benz autocar,
And all of these moppets hopped aboard!
I drove the lot of us to a Denny’s-brand restaurant and 
—How surprising—I was the one to tender the bill.
Conclusion: If you seek to court this woman, you’d best be rich as Croesus!
You know why? Take too much to touch her
From what I heard she got a baby by Busta
My best friend say she used to fuck with Usher
I don’t care what none of y’all say, I still love her
Do you understand why she is this way? It’s a Sisyphean effort to simply finger her!
From what I’ve heard, she was impregnated by
American emcee and actor Trevor Taheim “Busta Rhymes” Smith, Jr.
My closest associate told me she used to dally with
Rhythm and blues singer Usher Raymond IV.
However, I care not a whit what any of you naysayers declare, for I still love her.

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