Thursday, August 12, 2010

"If You Believe in Having Sex" Part III

Okay, okay, I-I-I can’t forget about my white-boy friends at the depot.

“Fuckin’ A, dudes, you wanna get your cock sucked? Repeat after me!”

Very well, very well, I must not forget about my Caucasian allies at the depot.

(In their nasal, miserable cadence): “Indeed, chaps, would you enjoy being fellated?

Then follow my lead!”:

“Suck my cock and I’ll eat your pussy!” (Suck my cock and I’ll eat your pussy!)

“You guys say, ‘Suck my cock and I’ll eat your pussy!’

(Suck my cock and I’ll eat yourr pussy!)

“Fellate me and I’ll perform cunnilingus upon you!” (repeated)

“You chaps say, ‘Suckle my member and I shall answer likewise on your genitals!’ (repeated)

Now I know why everybody like havin sex

More than they like doin anything else in the whole world.

Okay fellas, I wanna know what y’all like about havin sex.

Understand, I am aware of why everyone enjoys intercoursing

To a degree greater than they enjoy doing any other activity.

Therefore, fellows, I would like to be informed of what you personally enjoy about copulation.

Is it less filling? (No, it tastes great!) Is it less filling? (No, it tastes great!)

Does it sate you incompletely? (Au contraire: It tastes great!)

Does it fill to less than your capacity? (No, sir! It’s scrumptious!)

Now ladies, I wanna know what all y’all fine-ass ladies like about havin sex.

All right, ladies, y’all gon’ tell me? Y’all gon’ tell me? Okay, y’all tell me.

And secondly: ladies! I wish to know what you callipygous ladies enjoy about relations.

Fair ladies, pardon me! Might you inform me? Might you? Ah yes, you will now tell me.

Does it taste great? (No, it’s less filling!) Does it taste great? (No, it’s less filling!)

Does it taste great? (No, it fills less!)

Does it tickle your tongues? (Conversely, it provides lesser sustenance!)

Less filling! (Tastes great!) etc!

It does not surfeit one’s stomach! (Though it excites one’s taste buds!)

(repeated ad infinitum)

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